Christian Marriage

[grainfedprairieboy]

The principal difference between Islam and Christianity is that Muslims generally take their interpretation of the Koran to varying extremes at a group level with a corresponding approach of enforcement.

Christians in most of the West on the other hand, generally take their interpretation of the Bible on a personal level and in varying degrees dismiss literal passages while integrating the intent of the message with modern values.

Outside of a couple of kook cults nobody expects their wives to be obedient now and I remember my grandfather telling me his grandmother wasn't particularly obedient let alone his wife.

There is the classic old Indian story of the two hunting parties from different tribes who meet in the woods. They decide the forest is not big enough for the two groups and being so different they will fight to the death in the morning. But during the evening they sit around the fire and when one warrior boasts he welcomes death rather then have to return to his wife all the warriors try to plead the case for how terrible their own wives are. In the end the two parties decide not to fight because they have such common ground and return to their perspective tribes.

In other words, there is no obedience and never has been with either Christians or heathens.

[Sal]

Thanks guys for all of your responses. They are varied and that is excellent as that is what makes us think if we choose to think rather than deciding we have all of the answers. There is always room for growth.

The gentleman that wrote the original OP on another site also included many biblical verses to back up his claim.

I do not like his particular claim because I feel he is arrogant, prideful and numerous other things that a true Christian would condemn. And I think he twisted it. But that was what interested me because I feel in some ways my current relationship does reflect what the man says....... but I see it more as "team".

My guy is a fundamental Christian. While I believe in God and think Jesus walked the earth, my beliefs differ greatly from that of a "Christian" and from that of my guy. Funny thing is, we seem to make it work and have for over a decade. The reason I believe is because we actually LOVE each other. That means the other figures into everything and the other's best interest, desire, and need is always considered before any decisions are made be they big or small.

From what I have read here and talking it over with Mr. Sal I would say my current relationship is closest to that of what Frogger said. I submit to my man and he submits to me because we love each other and share all.

He also believes that men are to be Christ-like in all that they think and do. I believe this man walks his talk. He is the most loving, non judgemental, gentle, and accepting individual that I have met.

I am what many would term as a "feminist". Women to me are still somewhat dominated and aim to please. My conclusion so far is that when you find a man who truly advocates equality and knows what love is, the rest just falls into place. I am not a bible advocate but "the greatest of these is love" pretty much says it all for me.

[karrie]

What the person who wrote it forgets is, to warrant a proper Christian wife, the man must DESERVE to be obeyed. And that's even harder to live up to than the image of the obedient wife. Sure, these may be the gender stereotypes, and give a general guideline for a harmonious marriage (if you're smart enough to look at the expectations for BOTH sides), but, life hardly ever fits any 'ideal' put forward.

And I'd like to point out that you'll find just as unrealistic expectations set throughout media and entertainment.

I scored this from another site and am interested to know what people think about the following.

Is this common or uncommon?
______________________________________

A lot of women in the world marry to get their "needs met". That is the start of their suffering, because that is not what marriage is about.

Marriage for a Christian woman is to sacrifice her will to her husband in obedience in everything. She demonstrates her gift of trust and Love, by being completely obedient to her husband, and not only that, being completely obedient even to the husbands implied desires.
She is at the complete service of her husband, and she does it in love and joy without any complaint, or thought for herself.

Scripture points this out clearly. Though man and woman are equal in the sight of God, they are not equal in authority, in marriage.

[MrsKimi]

The reason I believe is because we actually LOVE each other. That means the other figures into everything and the other's best interest, desire, and need is always considered before any decisions are made be they big or small.

I believe this man walks his talk. He is the most loving, non judgemental, gentle, and accepting individual that I have met.

My conclusion so far is that when you find a man who truly advocates equality and knows what love is, the rest just falls into place.

Ditto, Sal. It's simply amazing what a difference it makes in a relationship, when the respect is mutual and "control" is non-existent.

I was married to a minister for seven years (in another lifetime, and when I was extremely young). This particular denomination actually did, and still does, believe the way your OP related. I never made a good preacher's wife, though. I questioned the insanity too much, and was eventually ex-communicated....a true blessing for me!

[curiosity]

When I think of two people engaged in a marriage or relationship - I think of a lesser used term but to me describes a harmonious 'living with' whether formalized by vows or not:

Congruent.

[Kelly]

Thanks guys for all of your responses. They are varied and that is excellent as that is what makes us think if we choose to think rather than deciding we have all of the answers. There is always room for growth.

The gentleman that wrote the original OP on another site also included many biblical verses to back up his claim.

I do not like his particular claim because I feel he is arrogant, prideful and numerous other things that a true Christian would condemn. And I think he twisted it. But that was what interested me because I feel in some ways my current relationship does reflect what the man says....... but I see it more as "team".

My guy is a fundamental Christian. While I believe in God and think Jesus walked the earth, my beliefs differ greatly from that of a "Christian" and from that of my guy. Funny thing is, we seem to make it work and have for over a decade. The reason I believe is because we actually LOVE each other. That means the other figures into everything and the other's best interest, desire, and need is always considered before any decisions are made be they big or small.

From what I have read here and talking it over with Mr. Sal I would say my current relationship is closest to that of what Frogger said. I submit to my man and he submits to me because we love each other and share all.

He also believes that men are to be Christ-like in all that they think and do. I believe this man walks his talk. He is the most loving, non judgemental, gentle, and accepting individual that I have met.

I am what many would term as a "feminist". Women to me are still somewhat dominated and aim to please. My conclusion so far is that when you find a man who truly advocates equality and knows what love is, the rest just falls into place. I am not a bible advocate but "the greatest of these is love" pretty much says it all for me.

Sal,
I love that you bring thought-provoking subjects for all of the reasons you mentioned. I think that we all in some way point to something similar by saying that at the end of the day, the Biblical application to our relationships is what we feel accords with our own interpretations. This is a very personal and intimate application. Those who engage in relationships that fall away from what we feel is appropriate must deal with their own cognitive dissonance about them.

With this said, I'll submit an example of my own. I married a man who said he didn't believe in God, though I always have unwaveringly. I figured he'd "see the light" eventually, which he did, but that's a bit of a digression to the point. The issue about this marriage relates to a Biblical passage about engaging in matrimony unequally yoked, which I interpret to be different in beliefs. I definitely did not have a Christian marriage, and I also would say in retrospect that this situation contributed to the demise of the marriage. Would it have ended anyway? I'm thinkin "OH HECK YES"... but by then it was water under the bridge anyway.

For the record, there's also no way I'd "obey" my exhusband for reasons that are unnecessary to elaborate upon. I just want to make the point that no matter what the Bible tells us, we each will always possess the strongest inborn characteristic of all: FREE WILL.

[kentkenford]

I dont want to comment about this and i guess i need to ask some expert about your question..