Will It Matter 10 Years From Now?

**selfactivated** · 06-04-2008, 09:09 PM

Ive spent the afternoon talking to friends and writing. I had a real ah ha moment just a few minutes ago. I stress alot about the daily things. I over react to a great many situations.

Before Critter died I was in what I call a Sweet spot. I could handle just about every situation thrown at me. I had finally arrived. I had several tools I used when things got to much.

The one I just remembered was given to me by my Bri. He would ask me "Sweetpea, will it matter 10 years from now?" And if the answer was no then move on. If the answer was yes then work it out.

I cant believe how much I forgot. But it proves Im on the sunny side of the street remembering little bits at a time.

**Unforgiven** · 06-05-2008, 07:16 AM

It's a nice thought and quite true I think. There are times when everyone will obsess over the little things that really seem bigger than they are. In the big picture, they don't even register so it's a matter of putting things into perspective.

Nice notion to post Self. :)

**Sal** · 06-05-2008, 07:37 AM

I too am a worrier. I obsess over the small things sometimes. I don't know what that "sometimes" part is about. Because other times I can cruise along and have almost nothing bother me.

Most times when I stress it's because I am concerned something was misinterpretted..... either something I said or something I did. I don't like to people to be hurt due to a misunderstanding. I like things to be clear.

What I am slowly learning to accept is that some people do not like things to be clear. Hazy is good for them, even if what they hold to them is erroneous. I am also learning that, it's okay for them to do that too. It's their choice.

**Sid V** · 06-05-2008, 08:00 AM

I always remember an old Arab saying: "Many troubles I have had - most of which have never happened". And it's true - most of what we worry about on a daily basis either never happens or, if it does, is usually not nearly as bad as our fevered minds would have us believe............

The really bad, life shattering stuff always comes out of the blue......and it's no good worrying about that in advance, is it?.............Nice post, self.........

**Sal** · 06-05-2008, 08:05 AM

Haaaaa Sid that is the damn truth. The things we worry about are not the things that fell us.

**selfactivated** · 06-05-2008, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by Unforgiven

It's a nice thought and quite true I think. There are times when everyone will obsess over the little things that really seem bigger than they are. In the big picture, they don't even register so it's a matter of putting things into perspective.

Nice notion to post Self. :)

Originally Posted by Sal

I too am a worrier. I obsess over the small things sometimes. I don't know what that "sometimes" part is about. Because other times I can cruise along and have almost nothing bother me.

Most times when I stress it's because I am concerned something was misinterpretted..... either something I said or something I did. I don't like to people to be hurt due to a misunderstanding. I like things to be clear.

What I am slowly learning to accept is that some people do not like things to be clear. Hazy is good for them, even if what they hold to them is erroneous. I am also learning that, it's okay for them to do that too. It's their choice.

Originally Posted by Sid V

I always remember an old Arab saying: "Many troubles I have had - most of which have never happened". And it's true - most of what we worry about on a daily basis either never happens or, if it does, is usually not nearly as bad as our fevered minds would have us believe............

The really bad, life shattering stuff always comes out of the blue......and it's no good worrying about that in advance, is it?.............Nice post, self.........

All three of you hit it dead on...........

Sal you and I are scarry. Most my issues with people are due to the fact I want to make things crystal clear. I want to talk it out and talk it through and how dare you not care! LOL One of the things this place is teaching me is exactly what you said some people dont need clarity and are real content seeing hazy (as you put it). Im not quite at the point were its ok with me not being heard LOL Taylor (my councilor) says Im stuborn.......Moi?

**Twila** · 06-05-2008, 02:00 PM

Stubborn is the negative term.

Determined, resolute are postive words for the same meaning.

Well I'm like both of you (Tam and Sal) I stress and worry and seek clarification. I've found that sometimes I've thought something was 1 way, only to learn after some prodding from me for clarification that it was infact the other way.

I find people often don't say what they mean...they say round about things. blue when they mean green. Maybe when they say yes. Frustrates me all the hell.

I need to prepare for every eventuality. I need to know what "could"happen. So I can react correctly. The wheels in my brain are on turbo most of the time....spining and spinning and spinning...

**selfactivated** · 06-05-2008, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by Twila

Stubborn is the negative term.

Determined, resolute are postive words for the same meaning.

Well I'm like both of you (Tam and Sal) I stress and worry and seek clarification. I've found that sometimes I've thought something was 1 way, only to learn after some prodding from me for clarification that it was infact the other way.

I find people often don't say what they mean...they say round about things. blue when they mean green. Maybe when they say yes. Frustrates me all the hell.

I need to prepare for every eventuality. I need to know what "could"happen. So I can react correctly. The wheels in my brain are on turbo most of the time....spining and spinning and spinning...

Im wondering if it has to do with personality types. Or maybe male female? *shrug* I just wish I can turn it off.............it pisses people off and I dont mean too I just want the clearest clarification possible.

**Twila** · 06-05-2008, 04:03 PM

I just wish I can turn it off.............it pisses people off and I dont mean too I just want the clearest clarification possible.

Let me know if you figure out how to shut it off, my husband would totally appreciate you sharing that knowledge! Even though I've explained why I'm the woman of a 100 questions it must still be annoying. It's hard to reassure someone that your not accusing them of lying when you ask them a billion questions about 1 inconsequential thing...

And I know for a fact I will explode if my curiousity and need to know details is not fulfilled...

**selfactivated** · 06-05-2008, 04:14 PM

No exploding Twilas allowed LOL Lets make a pact us 3 and anyone like us.............If we have questions about each other or each others actions we will ask away all the questions needed to feel secure and safe. Thats the best we can do.

As for the others that get agitated? Well, I just need to remember not to get frustrated and say stupid things because just as we cant help being us they cant help being them.

This is where the question comes in handy. Will this matter 10 years from now? Anything that matters I will deal with tooth and nail, anything that doesnt........I need to let it go.